#NaBloPoMo July 1, 2016 Let’s get writing again!

The #NaBloPoBo topic for July 1st is an interesting question, one that had me scratching my head at first.

What was the first blog you read online? 

Wow, that feels like a really long time ago! Pre-blogs, who remembers when we were pre-blog? But of course I remember it’s just that it feels so… normal now. People blog and we read them, sometime we follow, sometimes we comment… its part of learning about the world, about people, even about connecting.

I’m pretty sure that the first blog I read online was Johanna’s Pointe Til You Drop. At least that’s how I remember it. I loved Johanna’s blog from the first. She is always so honest and straightforward yet always kind and thoughtful. I love her passion and devotion to ballet. She shares her journey in dance so openly and completely with her readers. And for a new student of ballet, she was an image of hope – hope that a person, me specifically, could maybe perhaps possibly learn ballet as an adult. What a gift!! Nothing has changed in that respect, I still love Pointe Til You Drop. I still think it is one of the best dance blogs in blogosphere. I still think that Johanna is one of the most wonderful sources of inspiration for all adult dancers.

Broken heart, broken spirit, broken toes.

It’s a bad sign when you’ve been away from your blog so long that you are having trouble figuring out your blog platform!!!! Esh😦

I knew that losing my precious dog, Atticus, was going to be hard. I knew that it was going to leave me brokenhearted. And so it did. My brain tells me that he was a dog, a pet, but my heart and my spirit remind me that he was my friend, my companion, my family. There are tears that cannot be contained as I type these words. Do we ever really heal from a broken heart or do we simply find a way to return to life with chips, scratches, and dings all around our center heart? I soldier on with all the regular duties of my life, always reminded silently that there is something important missing, someone important. It’s hard to move forward. It’s hard to move sometimes.

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The day I officially “finished” my PhD. Atticus gifted me a congratulatory kiss. 

And yet I know that moving is what I need, physically moving and feeling and dancing is what I need. So I got an extension on a class pass that was going to expire and I’m headed back to the studio. When I was working on my dissertation I had a motto – motivation is a luxury, not a necessity. I move forward without the luxury of motivation or inspiration, I’m not even sure that I want to right now but I know that movement makes me feel better, helps me work through my thoughts and feelings, and gives me some relief from the discomfort of stress. Brokenhearted, broken spirited, but moving forward.

Wish me luck and come dance with me.