“Work until you can’t work any more. Then work harder.”

There is a certain PhD website that will go unnamed but I’ve been a member for a long time and there, my friends, is my tag line. Work until you can’t work anymore. Then work harder. I believe that and more importantly I lived that. I hold fast as truth that we cannot always run full speed through life, that we require periods of rest and recuperation. But I see no reason to just sit around through life!

I see my tagline every day as I am on the site every day but this morning it caused me to pause a moment. I ran full-out to finish my dissertation and now I am in a period of recuperation from that race.  In May, I was able to start going back to ballet class and as you recall, all went well… for a couple of weeks. Then my foot started to give me problems. Since then I’ve been back and forth to classes in spurts and starts. The foot creating issues where I don’t want them and making me question once again if my role in ballet is in a seat in the audience. It has been determined that I have not damaged it further but that my foot, like the rest of my body, has gotten weak and if you remember, I had weak foot muscles to begin with.

Starting last week I began to get up at 0530 in the morning to work out before heading off to my day job so that I can get my physio-training in each day and I repeat a short version of it in the evening after ballet class. Even so, I’ve been feeling very discouraged as of late because the progress as I see it is minimal. But today I reminded myself – work until you can’t work any more… and then work harder. I am listening to my body and making sure to watch for signs of injury but I’m not backing off of challenges because therein comes the change.

I have struggled through challenges before and I will struggle through challenges again. The question isn’t can I work harder but will I work harder? And the answer is simple, yes. I will work until I can’t work anymore and then I will work even harder because I want to. I want to.

~Let’s dance.

Well, in my first full week back to dancing, I managed three beginner classes. I think that’ s non-too-shabby. It’s been a very long time since my injury so I’m pretty sure that it’s well healed. Unfortunately it’s also been a long time since I’ve seen my doctor or physio about it either so… yeah, I don’t recommend that but…

I was shown a couple of different ways to tape my foot. The basic gist being that I won’t know what will work best for me until I try it out. Well, that was like six months ago. At least I remember the methods for taping and the toe taping itself doesn’t change at all. So I found my box of tapes ( not easy as I started stashing things like a squirrel, too busy with dissertation to be able to deal with anything), and taped up. I also have a half compression sock that looks kind of silly but works very well.

I’m going to be perfectly honest and tell you that going back hasn’t been easy mentally and emotionally because I’m a wreck! I look tired and stressed and we don’t even need to discuss the dissertation weight! Ugh. I abhor new things with a passion so I haven’t had the courage to try any of the new studios that I have found closer to home. And I’ve just been too tired for the drive across town… but that is where the awesome teacher is. I won’t kid myself that no one will notice that I look like something dragged in after a disaster but maybe no one will care…too much… or will at least be too polite to point it out.

I walked into the studio and got a big big hug from Awesome Teacher who declared it “the best surprise ever.” It was nice to be home. With one class, everything changed. My whole body began to feel right again, my energy level shifted, the lightness of being happy returned, even my confidence level found a new step. I’m not saying it was magical and suddenly I was svelte and perfect. But I found the courage to try one of the new studios, threw down some pretty decent single pirouettes, and started rummaging through my box of leotards knowing that I’ll be back in those soon. And that’s real progress. My foot will come along – actually it held up really well – but my real challenge is  to find myself again and maybe even to discover a dancer.

I’m even thinking of hitting the gym before dayjob! How is that for being inspired!