For those of you who do not work for a branch of the American government (give thanks), it will still not come as much of a surprise that all branches spend a lot of time and effort on really stupid things – like determining how much office space each person is due based upon rank. I am not kidding. There are specs on how much office space a person should have based solely on rank (seniority be hanged, it’s not as important apparently). At any rate,when you are a contracted employee (such as petit moi) you often get to negotiate your title as part of the contract.
“I should like to be titled Cornelia the Avenger.”
Yeah, I didn’t get that title, they were not to be convinced that “Cornelia the Avenger” was a perfectly suitable name and title to bestow upon me. Oh well.
Actually my title is boring and doesn’t reflect what I do, my position within the organization, or the fact that I do own a cape and can leap small trash bins in a single bound. Anyway…
Recently there has been some physical movement of various sections and that means some re-establishing of office space. Which brings me to the point where once again someone without a clue is trying to figure out the equivalent of my rank so as to determine how much office space I should or should not have.
Me: “Let us simply say that I am of the rank of Grand Princess Ballerina and leave it at that.”
Government Drone: “Why not go for Queen?”
Me: “Because, my dear, Princess indicates a much younger and entirely more adorable personage. Let’s not overstate, I find Princess to be adequate.”
Government Drone: “…and ballerina?”
Me: “Will it be necessary to see my official Grand Princess Ballerina tutu? I can make a phone call.”
Government Drone: “No, I think I have all the information that I need.”
Me: “Wait, wait… here let me put on my crown.” (Presents tiara from lab table drawer)
Government Drone: “ooooo-kkkkkayyyy. Thank you.”
Me, calling out after government drone who is now practically running down the hallway… “You can call the Chief to verify… do you have his cell number? No worries, I’ll have him call you!”
Ah, yeah, sometimes work can be fun.