Broken heart, broken spirit, broken toes.

It’s a bad sign when you’ve been away from your blog so long that you are having trouble figuring out your blog platform!!!! Esh 😦

I knew that losing my precious dog, Atticus, was going to be hard. I knew that it was going to leave me brokenhearted. And so it did. My brain tells me that he was a dog, a pet, but my heart and my spirit remind me that he was my friend, my companion, my family. There are tears that cannot be contained as I type these words. Do we ever really heal from a broken heart or do we simply find a way to return to life with chips, scratches, and dings all around our center heart? I soldier on with all the regular duties of my life, always reminded silently that there is something important missing, someone important. It’s hard to move forward. It’s hard to move sometimes.


The day I officially “finished” my PhD. Atticus gifted me a congratulatory kiss. 

And yet I know that moving is what I need, physically moving and feeling and dancing is what I need. So I got an extension on a class pass that was going to expire and I’m headed back to the studio. When I was working on my dissertation I had a motto – motivation is a luxury, not a necessity. I move forward without the luxury of motivation or inspiration, I’m not even sure that I want to right now but I know that movement makes me feel better, helps me work through my thoughts and feelings, and gives me some relief from the discomfort of stress. Brokenhearted, broken spirited, but moving forward.

Wish me luck and come dance with me.

2 thoughts on “Broken heart, broken spirit, broken toes.

  1. I am sorry for your loss. Yes, a dog can be a real friend. And yes, I wish you luck. Sometimes, moving (forward) takes an effort, but the effort is worthwhile. Albertine Sarrazin wrote “Moi, je marche” (And I, I walk). She said this in a completely different context, but it has become my motto long ago. Just putting one foot in front of the other, doing one step, then another. One little thing, then the next little thing. I often found the most simple barre exercises helpful to calm me down, to get back my balance (in dance and in life).

  2. Awwwwww sweetie. Nothing worse. Our dogs are our best companions and nothing fills the hole left in your life until you can think about them without crying and fill that space with the good memories. 🙂 ❤

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